Ok, I don't get it --- what am I missing?

I have been married almost a year. My husband leaves his stuff sitting out --- in the middle of the room. I was waisting time, bored, and asked him if he had his work schedule for next week (it changes) so that we could plan something. He said he has no idea where he put it. I went to look in his wallet, and I was doing it -- he got really irritated at me.


He had a really cute note in there of something he had written himself I saw - and I honestly thought it was interesting/cute and told him that.





He said that he felt ';exposed'; and violated that I went through his ';personal'; stuff and told me to not go through his wallet again.





I was amazed - because ....to me ITS A WALLET, not a journal or something I would consider private or ';personal'; that I would have an issue with my spouse seeing.





It ended up that I basically told him how I felt like he had some issues --- that as a married couple, I felt that was a little bit tense. I felt like I was being treated like a little sister or a girlfriend he barely knows.





Now he is making it out like I have poor boundary skills and that I like to snoop, and I don't respect him. He says that he doesn't clean it out frequently and doesn't want to explain whatever I imght find in there from 3 years ago....





There is also a small voice in me wondering what the hell he might need to hide in there ---- he said nohting, I said, then whats the big deal....?





This is a man who I know would never cheat on me....but what the hell?





ps - he keeps letters and pictures of exes, a journal, his own laptop, etc. --- none of which I would ever ';snoop '; through....so this is kinda weird to me.





Opinions?Ok, I don't get it --- what am I missing?
I agree with Clo. Imagine if you would have just touched that stupid journal of his past, where he wrote how the relationships of his past were! Had you touched that one, he would have called the cops on you! He's a jerk if you ask me.Ok, I don't get it --- what am I missing?
I bet he has to lock the bathroom door just to keep you out
Yikes! Three years worth of stuff in his wallet? If my wife acted like that, my suspicions would be up, too, even though I know she wouldn't cheat on me. I think it's a natural reaction. It's like ';I know he'd never cheat on me............but what if he did?';





As long as you're otherwise happy, I guess the best thing is to stay out of his wallet; it seems to be another part of his ';personal space';. I wouldn't care if my wife went through mine, but I'm like you; it's just a wallet.





She likes to put things down right where she stops using them, and then can't find them again. She's always asking me to look through her purse to see if I can help find stuff.
How would you feel if he went through your purse? For a lot of people, the wallet/purse is out of bounds, married or not. It sounds to me like you are both insecure in your marriage. If you can't trust each other enough to let the other into your most personal and private thoughts and feelings, then what are you doing getting married?
Most man don't like to carry handbag, his wallet is the only place he carry important things. If he consider it is private place, please try to respect him. Some woman don't like people look into her purse either, some ugly woman put a lot concealer in purse don't want people know she use concealer, she never cheat, but feel shame to use concealer, it is silly reason, but a good reason for her not wanting others to see. Some put condemn in purse and think it is not appropriate for anyone to know, but she is not cheating either. Just in case hubby need it in vacation, maybe.





When he think wallet is important, it is hard for you to tell him it is not.





Apologize, tell him you didn't know it mean so much to him. But never attack him said it is silly to consider Wallet is privacy, or ask if he cheating or hiding anything from you.





The more you give out your own reason/ excuse, the more he feel you attacking him and think he is rare. And for defense system in male, he will attack back and be more unreasonable.
Some things are simply a guys domain, and that is one of them. My wife never goes through my wallet, even if I give her permission to and likewise, I never go into her purse. Married or not, we all have a right to a certain degree of privacy. Imagine if we shared every thought we had with our partner... they would have no time for their own thoughts.
If this is a problem, divorce him.





SO far, I don't think you and he have the reasoning skills to talk this out on your own, so I would recommend counseling if this is the type of crap you are going through during such an early marriage.
Obviously, he considers his wallet in the same category as his journal, his own laptop, etc. It's his space. Whether you agree or not is immaterial; he's telling you it's important to him. Can you respect that? If not, you're being unfair. You're expecting him to feel the same way you do about things. That's conceited, too, really.





Just FYI, lots of guys feel that way about their wallet.
Tell your husband, that he's a big huge ';drama queen'; and that although you've been married for almost a year, you won't deal with this bull for eternity. Be blunt, explain to him, that if ';his wallet'; is such a big deal for him, he can shovel it up his azz. I hate men like this, so freaking ';sensitive'; over nothing and if he doesn't want you to see ';ghosts';, then he should say it now or shut the hell up !


Have you both talked openly about the ';skeletons in your closet';? And don't tell me you don't have them, because we all do and sooner or later, they start ';popping out'; like pop corns !!





P.S. If he keeps letters about exes and is so controlling over ';his things, not yours';, doesn't that tell you a lot about a man?????
Just because he ';leaves his stuff sitting out'; doesn't give you the right to go in his wallet or anything else for that matter. This is snooping and you need to stop. If the man isn't giving you any reason to believe that he is cheating, stay out of his stuff.





On the other hand, you said ';This is a man who I know would never cheat on me...'; Don't be so sure about that, my darling.
I think there is a side of him he doesnt want you to know about ( thats the need for boundaries). If a partner suspects foul, then they should snoop to clear it up. If my wife kept stuff like he does we wouldnt be together because to me that means she is holding on to something in her past. Its called past for a reason and if he is still in it, he should be upfront with you about it.
Famous last words: ';This is a man who I know would never cheat on me.';
well im going through the same thing my wife feels like that as well i don't know why you women feel like this. she feels the need to check on me and im not upto up to anything.
I agree and think that he either has some issues that need to be dealt with professionally or he is hiding something from you.





You need to have a serious heart to heart with him. Prepare him for it, don't just sit him down and talk. Tell him you want to talk with him next Saturday about some problems you are having in the relationship. The remind him gently every now and then until Saturday. And then be very honest with him about how you feel.





Let him say and react the way he does, do not interfere, regardless of how belligerent he may get. Be respectful, calm and compassionate with him. Doing it this way will result in one of two things, you will either get a very good reaction from him which will bring you both closer together, or you will give him the proverbial rope to hang himself with.





In the end you will have the information you will need to make a decision and move forward.





All the best.

hair treatment

skin lesions