Did I mess up everthing?

Did I mess up everything?


Hers' the deal. I am absolutly in love with this guy. We got involved together with our spouses at the same time. A 4some thing. None of us had ever done that before. Me and this guy feel in love and are still very much in love. My husband and I divorced and this other couple are just seperated. This guy has been trying to do the right thing for businesses and kids, we all have 2 kids. When the divorces started and even before then, this guy told me that my heart was safe in his hands and that he would never let me go. I let down every wall and every defense I had for this guy and trusted him completely. As the divorce started, this guy was loosing it because of how hard and painful this process was and pretty much shut me out of his life. He told me we had to do our own thing for a while but did not want me to see anyone else. This has been going on for 9 months now and he is still just seperated. He says that once they get the refinancing done on their businesses they are signing papers. He has kept me a secret so his wife will stay peaceful.





Anyways, I still trust this guy that what he says is true but this has been very difficult on me. I cant be a part of his life nore is he planning anything with me. I feel very vulnerable to a of of things right now and he has hurt me so many times throughout this last 9 months. He would take off for weeks at a time to go see his kids but his wife was there and would not talk to me the whole time. He said he felt guilty when he was with me sometimes because of the kids, and he would leave and go see his friends for a month or so.





I have tried to remain calm and try to support him but throughout this process I had kissed a couple guys and then I ended up going home with another guy. I dont know why I did, I think it was because I am very insecure about a lot of things right now. I told this guy about all of it and now he says he can t trust me, I cheated on him and he's done with me. I left a lot for this guy and I do feel as if I cheated on him. I feel horrible about it. But he thinks that he has been right throughout this whole thing. He know he hurt me but he said he was trying to do the right thing.





I guess my question is. Is did I mess it all up between me and this guy? Do you think he did? Is there any hope for us?Did I mess up everthing?
whether it was messed or not it wasn't your fault. That's an A-grade tricky *** situation you were both in. Like a 9.9 degree of difficulty. one slip and it goes to ****.





He slipped up first, not managing the divorce and you properly.


You slipped up going home with another guy.





Not because you were unfaithful, since you didn't owe him any faith yet anyway.





But just because its obvious you still liked the other guy enough that his reaction has hurt you. You slipped up on your own feelings , not his trust. You didn't owe him any trust anyway.





is there any hope? of course there is. no gaurantees but there is always hope. Its still tricky, but not as bad as it was before at least. That's a fact.


Give him some timeDid I mess up everthing?
Yep.


Nope.


Nope.
That was his excuse to break it off with you. He never really planned on leaving his wife for you. He just wanted to be able to have sex with you behind her back, so she wouldn't mess around either.





For now on, stick to one person, who is single and don't do the swinging crap anymore. NOTHING good ever comes from it.
Seriously? Would you really define something where you have been a 'secret', a relationship?? This whole thing is a sham, this guy is able to have his cake and eat it too. Not only that, he's convinced you that you are in a relationship and don't have the right to date others. You have to take some of that blame too.





Take a step back and look at the situation. You didn't mess up, the whole thing was messed up to begin with (do you think he wouldn't do the same thing to you that he did to his 'wife'). Is there any hope for you... NO WAY!
karma.
First off there is always hope, second if you are a piece of meat he has on the side waiting for him to get things strait, he has no room to complain. He should of been taking care of you, and that is his fault. As for what you did, that will have to be worked out with him, and there is not telling how a person will react in these cases. Talk it out with him and tell him the truth, but remember that he is still with his wife and that should make u ? his intentions.