Wednesday, August 18, 2010

This makes me feel dumb...?

Im a 22 yr old woman who is married with 2 kids. Im currently living with my parents due to the fact that I was pregnant when my husband was sent to Japan to be stationed there and I was high risk and the military wouldnt let me fly over with him due to potential complications. Anyway my question is this: How do you deal with parents who go through your cell phone to see who you have been talking to? What do you say when they ask you 50 questions as to where you have been (even if you take the kids with you)? How do you handle it when they tell you that if you cheat on your spouse they will disown you? Keep in mind that I am 22, married, with two kids AND I pay rent and buy groceries, further more they invited me to live here until everything was taken care of so that I can move...however long I needed. I still need to be respectful to my folks of course, I always have been and I try to make things as easy as possible for them by cooking and cleaning ALOT, plus taking care of the kids.This makes me feel dumb...?
Move out. Even though they invited you there and you are fully taking care of your responsibilities as a daughter, wife and mother they are going to continue this behavior as long as they are able too. If you are already paying rent, pay rent for a place of your own. Pick somewhere near by so you can still be by them when needed.This makes me feel dumb...?
I understand what you are saying but when you Live under your parents roof its their rules try talking to them. It might help to tell you the truth thats one of the reasons I dont live with my Parents
Tell them if they keep disrespecting YOU that YOU will disown THEM. Personally I have no clue how you can stand living with them. They sound like horrible people to me. I hope their attitude is not rubbing off on your children.


I would refuse to answer their questions and tell them to get a hobby.
since you're pregnancy is over, couldn't you move to japan with your husband? your folks are way out of line here. if they're older,could all the extra people be getting to them? call your husband and see what can be done about you moving. it could be a great advanture and really educational for the kids. it's not something they're likely to do any other time.
They have no right going through your phone to see who you have been talking to. I would get out of there fast.
Baby if you can pay rent there, you can pay rent elsewhere!!! You are a grown woman with a baby, just because your there doesn't give them the right to run your life. Remind them that you appreciate them, but you are going to find another place for you and your child because you don't appreciate the interrogation and them invading your privacy. You can say this in a respectful manner, but look for a temporary apartment until the baby is born and then move on post with your husband. He probably has housing and everything already set up...wish you and your family luck with getting your parents out of your business
Part of your parent's concern may be with the reputation that a number of military wives have given the rest of us. I have a friend who was just propositioned because the guy found out that her husband was deploying and he ';knew'; that all us Navy wives sleep around during while our DH's were away. Hah! He's lucky she only gave him a tongue lashing and not a butt kicking.





You might try sitting down with your parents and reminding them that in reality a lot of us stay true to our men. That the insinuation that you wouldn't is like a slap in the face. Hey, hopefully they raised a strong and moral daughter. And having to face that kind of judgment daily makes a tough separation even harder.





After talking to them about it, you might try to keep them appraised of where you're going before you leave so that you're giving them some assurances that you really did mean what you said. A quick ';hey, I'm heading over to the mall for some clothes shopping. Want to come along?'; would let them know where you're going without feeling like the same kind of third degree you're getting now. And it's a polite way to let your hosts (even if they are parents) know that you appreciate them enough to let them know your schedule.





Hopefully this will help. Stay strong and busy so the time will pass quickly.
With no disrespect to them, find a friend who will take you in. After all it is temporary. You are a grown women and need to be respected as well. They don't have the right not to give you your privacy. Sounds like you are doing your part to contribute. If you are at a high risk pregnancy, you don't need to be doing the extra chores and you don't need the unnecessary stress.
This is really tough, I would just sit them down and tell them that you are a grown woman now and they have to trust you and make it clear that you cannot have them snooping and butting in. They have to respect your privacy.
i personally would tell them to mind there own business if i want to call a friend or a sex hot line they don't need to know and yes you live their and clean ther ';A LOT'; and you pay them rent they should just mind there own damn business. this is probly not what you wanted in an ancer but its an honest ancer i have and so i give it.

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