Question about cheating (What would you do?)?

So I never watch Opera, but today I tuned in because the subject was interesting-about cheating...My question is for both men and women here...What would you do if you caught your spouse having an affair? Do you feel that you could work through the problem or would you head straight for divorce? I have a very close friend who found out her father was cheating on her mother for 6 months..Her mothers first reaction was to pack up and leave, but then she realized that a move like that would only be trying to get back at him for the hurt he caused her..she still loves him deep down inside past the mistake and they have 4 children togethe so their trying to work it out..





Me personally, I feel it would depend on how long the affair was and if my husband was willing to work through the problem...we also have a daughter so that also goes into consideration....





I feel very lucky to have a faithful and honest husband I can trust, and Im deeply sorry if any of you have dealt with this problem!Question about cheating (What would you do?)?
It's hard. I've been with my now ex for 10 years. We both wanted to have a child badly. It took me 3 years to get pregnant and I finally got pregnant and he cheated on me for my entire pregnancy. He treated me like garbage for the entire 9 months so I slept on my sons nursey room floor. The baby was born. I forgave him. I though everything was cool and then i recently found pics of him and the female he cheated on me with doing sexual things in my house and in our car. It happened after my son was born. So i kicked his *** out. I love my son and as much as I want to have my family, I know i deserve better. I would never do that to him.


Leaving is hard but sometimes it's necessary. Life is too short.Question about cheating (What would you do?)?
I believe in divorce for only two reasons affairs and abuse. however I think that in the event of affairs that the problem needs to atleast be tried to be worked through. however, if the problem persists. you need to be able to trust and have faith in your spouse and at a certain point enough is enough.
I have always told my husband that if he cheated I would be gone and so would the children. If he cheats it's a sign that he doesn't love or respect me or our children anymore so then the relationship is over. No one needs to cheat - just ask for a divorce and then go about your business!
Your wedding vows say for better or worse. So when the worse hits, you have to work at it. I would try and make it work. It can happen. Lots of marriages have survived affairs and are better after it because lots of problems get solved that did not and that lead up to the affair.
This is the exact reason why every morning when my husband leaves for work I hand him his lunch and I gently cup his ';man bits'; and whisper ';I love you honey. Have a good day and remember if I ever find out you cheated these go with me in the divorce'; :)
the things that i would divorce because of are as such:





cheating (even once)


abuse (drug, emotional, physical, sexual)


criminal behavior








everything else can be worked out.
divorce


i hold onto things, i know that about myself, i would never let it go, the relationship wouldnt stand a chance
This is a situation I pray I am NEVER faced with.





After the trust is gone What is left. You start to wonder if your whole relationship was a lie.






I divorced her.





Now we are both happy.





I believe in judging on commitments KEPT rather than commitments made.
sadly, that would be the excuse I was looking for to finally leave
My husband had a affair with a much younger girl, she was in her 20's we are in our forty's. It lasted 3 months. I did throw him out at first but we are back together and working through our problems. It is really hard to take someone back that has hurt you. I am still hurt after nearly 2 years but do love my husband. I honestly am the type of person who would advise friends not to take husband back after they cheated but when its your life your views change. I guess this has taught me not to be so judgemental.


I watched that show today too, it brought back some memories.





Your lucky your spouse is faithful! I wish everyday mine was.
I think the younger and more idealistic you are, the easier it is to say... I'D LEAVE. end of story. But it's not an idealistic world out there and never that black and white. I think one would have to take into consideration why the affair happened.





When i was 20 i would have screamed... divorce! Now that i am in my late 30's, i think i'd want to understand it first to make any decision. I also think i wouldn't make a rash decision. I'd probably try to work through it. I dont' think i'd be able to throw away this long of a faithful and wonderful relationship on a mistake. But i doubt he'd have an affair on me, and i know i wouldn't have one on him. So the point is rather moote.





I think most cannot answer what they would really do as each situation is different, each person is different and each relationship is different.
This is very hard..I feel it depends on the two people involved as to openness..honesty..willingness to work out the situation. As for me my husband had numerous affairs..when I found out he would beg, cry, and claim he would never do this again. I bought into his tears and was determined to make my marriage work I could not take it any longer when the neighbors told me he was locking my children out while entertaining women very young and old while I was at work..fearing my children would be taken away from me,,I divorced and I have been single 23 years and never happier
when it happened to me i had hoped we could work it out, that he would be remorseful and leave the other woman, but he didn't. he rewrote our whole marriage, told me he never loved me, so in addition to loosing the man i loved, and my future, the past was gone to, the man i thought loved me never did.i was willing to forgive, but he rubbed her in my face, made sure i saw them together or heard about it from family or neighbors. if i had it to do over i would not have any hopes, because the enticement of another woman often means more than saving a 10 year marriage. i wanted to give it a chance and for him to come back, i waited awhile before filing but finally i realized i was only kidding myself and waiting on someone who never loved me anyway. why waste time on someone who chose someone over u.
When I was younger, my dad cheated on my mom. It wasn't as devastating as I thought it would have been. When I was little it was almost as if my parents didn't love each other, they were more like roommates so that's what I was use to. But what was devastating was the fact that my mom took him back after he moved out and in with his mistress. I didn't have a say in it and it wasn't my business but I made a promise to myself to never stay with someone who cheats nor would I be able to forgive him. My mom took him back and I doubt it was even 4 months before they split again.