Monday, August 16, 2010

Anyone been through their spouse leaving them? Help me cope with this situation.?

I'll try to give a short version.





My husband accused me of cheating after finding a text from my daughter's father that read: ';whats up with you. I never saw you like this. Whatever you're going thru u need to seperate yourself from that and be the Janaye I know';. He left and every time he wanted to get back together he's say ';so are you ready to be a wife?'; I lost respect for him b/c he left his marriage and our son and I cant but think he's wanted to leave for a while but just needed an excuse. How do I get thru this phase because everyday is harder to cope. Every chance he gets puts me down and when I asked him to spend time with his son, he said not unless I let him live with him. I'm miserable that I even have to deal with a person like him. Please, I guess I need a little encouragment and motivation.Anyone been through their spouse leaving them? Help me cope with this situation.?
First of all the child needs to be with the parent that best takes care of him and would do the right thing, no matter what the parent was feeling. If he loves his son, he will love him and spend time with him, no matter with whom the child lives. If he doesn't the child will see him for who he really is and that is not your fault. It is also the father's loss. Your child will be fine and if he needs help, get him into some counseling.


If he wants to leave, let him go. If he wants you to leave, then go. All the fighting, putting down, etc is NOT worth it no matter what. You will be sad in the beginning, but it does get better. Better than you could ever imagine. You child will also find comfort in knowing you are happy. No amount of begging, pleading, feeling sorry for yourself, will help if he really wants to leave. Consider it an early Christmas gift.


Unfortunately you will have to deal with him, but through the legal system and maybe some mediation you guys can work out a visitation arrangement for your son. If he did the leaving then, I say you stand a good chance keeping your son. If you are a good mom, not a criminal, drug user, etc.


Take some time for yourself. Take care of yourself. It will all be fine in the end.Anyone been through their spouse leaving them? Help me cope with this situation.?
I wouldn't put up with that crap. I'd be a divorced happy woman doing just fine without him.
the best thing you can do is get along with him for the child sake alot of time there are no answers ..... you need to let him know that there are no feelings other than the fact that you two have a child together it seems like hes using the child as a tool how or why i don't know but you move on and hang out with friends date and sooner than later it wont matter any more
its hard to re-find out who you are after being part of something more like a relationship. and even harder when you see a child of yours getting hurt as well. all you can do is push through each day and ask God for more strength. you gotta realize guys are jerks and are going to try and play games with you...dont let them. dont let them get the best of you, dont let them see you down. take this, pick up the pieces, and move on with what is left of your life. be strong for your son, and be strong for you. i know its extremely hard, but it CAN be done. just keep swimming- like Dory from Finding Nemo says, and youll be fine.
Wow that sucks I can't sympathize but I do empathize


I'm having issues of my own but stay strong sistah!
Find a meeting at a local Church for separated and divorce people.





Go to that meeting and listen to what people have to say.





You will find you are not alone and there is real strength in number.

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