Does this bother you or hurt you?

It hurts me and angers me that marriage doesn't seem to mean much to people anymore. People cheat on their spouses and think it's not a big deal, people sleeping w/ other peoples husbands/wives knowing that they're married, people get married and get a divorce w/ in such a short period of time w/out thinking it's a big deal.





I understand certain circumstances w/ divorces please don't get offended. I'm just talking about how it seems like ';oh if we get in a fight or a rough patch I'm just gonna go cheat and have an affair or leave you.'; Especially people w/ familys (not saying to stay together if it's totally not working if you have a family) but how they don't think of how cheating will hurt their kids.





I feel that if you have concerns or doubts and red flags about the relationship to begin with then don't get married...what's the rush continue to date and see how you feel about it later. Marriage is supposed to be sacred and the vows you say I guess for some people goes through one ear and out the other. For me I said in front of God and family that I wanted to be w/ this person...and it means alot to me...I made sure of it that I wanted to spend the rest of my life w/ this person. He's never given me a reason to doubt his loyalty...I love him very much. (Been together for 5yrs now...and w/ God %26amp; family in our lives we hope to continue to be together)





I just wonder if anyone feels the same way I do? Does it hurt you that people don't take marriage seriously anymore?Does this bother you or hurt you?
You are very wise and I agree with you 100%. I feel the same exact way. The only way I can see getting a divorce is because of unfaithfulness or phyical abuse in the marriage. other than that the couple should takes their vows seriously and work things out, or don't bother getting married to begin with.Does this bother you or hurt you?
I agree with you completely.





The majority of people are neither willing nor able to give to a marriage what it needs.





Even though some find our marriage situation offensive (we are swingers) I take marriage very seriously. Don't ever apology for having the courage to speak your mind.
No, it doesn't hurt me....however, I believe you will find people with different attitudes on this topic.





I say...if marriage works for you and you want it ---get married and stay married.





but





if on the other hand, you think marriage is nothing but a piece of paper, then stay single and don't get married.





Each to their own.
I don't believe in marriage it has always been a piece of crap. Seriously just that back then people were not open and did not admit to cheating but now a days we are more open u can get married and get divorced in the same day. I love Vegas!
I think you're spending too much time worrying about what other people are doing in their marriages.





I agree that cheating is bad/wrong, but I certainly don't take it personally when someone else chooses to disrespect their marriage. I save my energy for things that are IN my control.
I think that it's awesome that you actually typed out exactly what alot of people think. Even if they won't admit it. Marriage isn't always easy, but for better or for worse clears up that bit. I agree whole heartedly.
yes it does hurt that some people don't take their vows seriously, unfortunately all we can do is sigh and thank God for our lives and hope that the devil don't come around to mess it up
I feel the same as you. I think it is disappointing how some people act towards each other in general, not just marriage.
That's just the society that we live in today. Seems to me only money is given any real worth and that is even looking pretty bleak these days.
It doesn't bother or hurt me. What other people do with their lives is not really my problem. I'm mostly concerned with what's going on in my own life.
I agree with everything you said (:
No, but then I don't think any one should impose there beliefs on any one else.
I wish i had an answer. My husband is a cheater and I have be dutiful, faithful and a good wife %26amp; mother. For all my kindness I got an STD
That can offend no one who deals with reality.


If there is always one thing that stood out about marriage to me, is how a couple who've never been religious or don't attend church except for funerals, weddings and christenings, rush like he...double hockey sticks, to the alter of God, to make a promise to God, the priest and all there as witness, vows that will last a little longer than the ceremony and party itself.


And any woman who marries a man who's an atheist or who refuses to attend church regularly or just marries in a church because his betrothed wants him too, is taking a promise from a man who can't be trusted to keep those vows.


If they feel and think so little of god, why would anyone expect him/her to keep their word to a god they doesn't believe exists, or a god he has no time for??


It's kindergarten all over again, it's all ';SHOW and TELL!!


And it is ';young women'; who are in a major rush to marry, just for the sake of saying so and playing grown up, even though the highest divorce rate is in the teens to late 20's.


I may not feel the same religiously, but yes, it does annoy me when it's used as an excuse for a big party and to be the centre of attention. Unfortunately, words are worse than cheap, there free and you know how we treat freebee's, if lyings that easy, then walking away is more so.


According to divorce stats the 7yr mark is when marriages start to go on the rocks.
How about the reverse where someone takes their marriage TOO SERIOUSLY. My brother married a woman who indicated she would want to have children. Then after they married she changed her mind. So they have remained childless, although I know that my brother would have loved to be a father. Also, he is the only boy in the family, and when he dies my father's family line %26amp; name dies also. Yet my brother would not divorce this woman (who is very dominating I might add) because of his religious beliefs--that as you said, he took a vow for life. Is it right that his deepest desire goes unfulfilled because of this (misplaced) loyalty?





At the end of the day, everyone is responsible for their own choices and they have to live with them, even if we on the outside looking in disapprove.
I agree with you 100%, and I would add that a lot of single folks don't respect the sanctity of marriage either. There was an instance recently where my husband and I were at the Riverwalk in San Antonio celebrating his graduation from Air Force BMT. Despite the wedding band on his left hand and despite the fact that we were enjoying a meal together obviously as a couple, the waitress was flirting with him openly despite the fact that he was ignoring her advances, and then wrote her cell phone number on the check when she brought it.





She couldn't believe it when I called her boss over to talk to him about the situation. I couldn't believe she had the nerve to behave like such a whore. I do not understand why women think it is okay to throw themselves at a married man! And it's not just women, it's men too. At the bank the other day, the teller asked for my phone number. I flashed my ring and said ';Sorry, not interested';. Not only did he not back off, he then said ';I won't tell. What he doesn't know won't hurt him.'; I was SHOCKED! I don't understand why people do not show any respect for marriage.





Grrr. LOL.
yes that actually bothers me a lot.


if you make a vow to someone it's a sin to break it. if you love them then you would do anything possible to fix whatever is questionable in the relationship. ESPECIALLY with families. if you have kids, thats not just a reason to stay together its whats best for them!!!
People grow, and sometimes in a marriage they grow apart. You've been married 5 years...try 20, which is how long I was married, actually close to 25. Things happen in a marriage that change the dynamics of that relationship. First thing that changed for us of course was the birth of our daughter, not an easy time as she was an emergency C-section and needed to be hospitalized after. She came home with tubes and monitors as well as two nurses. Change number two came about when our daughter was 6 months, pronounced healthy away with the monitors, then being military my husband got orders for a year unaccompanied to Sicily, I became an instant single parent having to take care of ';hearth and home'; alone as well as deal with a 6 month old baby AND work a full time job, while attempting to continue my education. Somehow we made it through, I gained independence learned how to change the oil, filters and tune up my car as well as change and rotate the tires. I learned about plumbing and fixed several leaks that winter. On top of that I more than doubled what was in our savings account when he left by being frugal and doing several things on my own rather than paying someone else to do them. By the time he came home not only could I bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, I could RAISE and slaughter the pig that bacon came from and pound out a pan from a piece of iron and I could build a fire to place that pan onto to cook that bacon and I could serve it up on clay plates I made myself and clean up afterwards and honey the first 6 months he was back I was on top every single night making him remember just what the hell it was that attracted him to me in the first place.


Change number three, I got my degree, changed jobs, made almost twice as much than what he was making I was now the major provider in our home. I was able to purchase my own car as well as a new one for him, and the family went on it's first real vacation to a very well known amusement park where we stayed at the park's own resort as well as took a cruise on their cruise line.


Change number four, we were destined for a transfer to a place that we had visited before but really didn't like the area, that prompted him to decide to retire from the military which I was fine with, this gave him time to stay home and get to know his daughter a bit better now that she was entering puberty. This did not thrill him in the least so he went in search of another job having gained his masters in International Business while in the military. Much to his chagrin his master wasn't the panecea and do all that he thought it would and he ended up in a mediocre position pushing papers while wifey (yep me) got another promotion and another raise in pay.


Change five, he became verbally and emotionally abuseive, began drinking often and with his drinking his anger grew. I warned him that I didn't have to put up with the abuse neither did our daughter and that if it continued I'd walk. Not only did it continue but it became physical...so after almost 25 years, I sought a lawyer, gained a legal separation, and after discussing it with my daughter moved myself to California where I transfered from my job in New York State to. My daughter stayed behind for the summer for one last ';hurrah'; with the kids she had spent most of her life with, her father agreed for her to move to California.


Our marriage didn't start out with the idea that we would wind up in divorce court. When we got married it was going to be forever, but we both changed through out the marriage, some changes were good some weren't. Some were enough to break the marriage in two. And you've only been there for 5 years...You have no right to critisize, maybe in another 20 that is IF you are still married to your current husband. Who knows you may be working on marriage number three by then.
Doesn't hurt me.





I know my husband and I feel the same away about each other and about the meaning of marriage. That's all that matters!





If joe blow and mary jane want to screw up their lives and bring hate and resentment into their families its none of my business.