Friday, August 20, 2010

Would you confront the ';other'; woman? ?

In more detail, the other woman as previously posted was at the divorce class, sat across from me, crying-wiping tears and sharing how her husband had cheated on her, and now they were 7weeks going through a divorce- he filed and they have no children. As I had said my husband and I were at the meeting and I shared what brought us to this point. Our divorce issue was because my husband hates my oldest son-period of whom he has been his Dad for 16yrs., my son has problems, and I refused to abandon him, turn my back on him (he is 22). No other reason honestly. My husband asked me to choose b/n my son or him. (My son does not live with us) I did not return to those mtgs, my husband said I humiliated myself?, within 2weeks the crying woman and my husband ';hooked up'; He sent her roses at work, the card said ';Thanks so much for being my friend, can't wait to see you again'; and a week later met at a budget chain hotel.Notice how neither one took each other back to their own homes? When I found out all of this I was upset, because I loved my husband very much, was forced to choose one of my children or my marriage.


I called the crying woman at her job, introduced myself as the wife(at that point I did not know she was the woman who sat across from me or that she had slept with my husband- he confessed later) I did upset her by calling, she confessed she had to take a xanax and couldn't take care of her next client. Guilt? I shook her up? She knew then she was wrong for what she did? When I asked her how she met my husband, she downplayed everything condescendingly, including not knowing he still lived with me, I told her he still sleeps in my bed! and then she came up with a story they knew each other previously from the past. That she never passed judgement on me, and was open minded about me? WTH? Then out of no where said she had alot of problems of her own? After we hung up I was in shock, she immediately called my husband, who then called me. Before I knew it she had called me back, spouting how she told my husband he had too much ';drama';, that she had met a ';wonderful man'; she had been seeing for a few weeks, and basically good luck. My husband in a nutshell told me not bother her again, that I have embarrassed him enough.?


It has been 8months since that call, my husband and I are in counseling, he hasn't spoken to her, we have managed to work thru alot- I confronted him and his behavior- he tried to blame me, by saying he wasn't looking, but that I gave her to him.? Understanding what that whole trist was about-THEM.Insecure, desperate, needy and pathetic. Their only commonality was emotional baggage, spouse bashing for sympathy- in my case it was my son. A sick rebound at best. Self Deception: The truth that survives, is simply the lie that is the pleasantest to believe. She was a repository for my husband's hurt over our marriage. I asked him if he had feelings for her, he said ';No, just the opposite.';?


My dilemma: I am still so angry at the nerve of this woman crossing the line into my life, my marriage, my family when she had enough of her own problems to deal with. She knew what she was doing (and so did he).They both knew they were still married, but pretending to be divorced. I really want this woman to know face to face or by thank you card, I know who she was, and why did she think it was her right to step into someone elses life, where she did pass judgement-void of all the real truths (none of her business to begin with) to sleep with my husband? She passed judgement when she opened her legs! The bottom line is I want to confront her, call her out on what she really participated in. Right now she's hiding behind in her own mind, that she is unknown. I wonder what her family or now ex-husband would think about her low down scandelous behavior?


It's all fun %26amp; games until someone really gets caught. What about where it all transpired? At a church organized divorce group.Would you confront the ';other'; woman? ?
I didnt and never would waste my breath on the other woman. I let her have him. Too much drama,, you need to set yourself free of it or it will tear you apart. In other words let it go, she is doomed no matter what you say or do to her.Would you confront the ';other'; woman? ?
Going to church doesn't make people religious.

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