Why does my husband think it's okay to go to the pool hall all the time?

My husband and I have been together for 11 years. The last few years I pretty much quit drinking and he didn't. Our soon is almost 3 and it seems like since he was born things have gotten worse. He has accused me numerous times of cheating on him and everytime he has no reason. He gets very paranoid and insinuates that I'm doing something I'm not supposed to be like when I go shopping. Especially if I get off work early and go before I get my son from daycare. The day I found out I was pregnant I was at Walmart getting groceries and he was mad that I went to Walmart instead of coming straight home. What a day to find out the greatest news! If I do go ut without him or my son he calls me every 30 min to an hour. Asking when I'm coming home. The last couple of years he has been going to our local poolhall rather he goes with a buddy or by himself. I can't stand when he drinks a lot. A couple of drinks is fine. He doesn't tell me when he goes though. He gets off work early and I don't know he went until I check our accoun the next morning. About six months ago he went to take my brother home and sid he was coming home and ended up staying out until 615 AM the next day! It of course it wasn't a big deal. He also sometimes goes after he gets off work late and my son and I are sleeping. Last night he worked he said until 1 AM and when I called him at 215 AM he said he was having breakfast by himself. I asked him if he went to play pool by himself also b/c I called his personal phone and he didn't answer and so I decided to ck our bank account and saw that he spent 50 there. He said he was by himself. It's not that I think he is cheating on me, I want to know what makes him think it's okay to go out like that without me? To leave his wife and child at home? I've told him how I have felt about this and it's not a big deal to him. I'm crazy and over reacting. But to me a married man doesn't belong in a pool hall drinking without his spouse. He told me he had a horrible night at work. But is that supposed to make it okay? If I were to do this he would have a fit!!!!!!! I would never hear the end of it. I need help!!!Why does my husband think it's okay to go to the pool hall all the time?
drinking and playing pool till all hours of the night is not good for any marriage. You sure it is ALWAYS the pool hall he is going to ?





he gets pissed at you tell him to grow up and be the man you married.Why does my husband think it's okay to go to the pool hall all the time?
He either has a drinking problem or he's cheating. He's placing way too much of this on you, especially being over suspicious that you're cheating.
Cheaters themselves are often very suspicious of their spouse.
Yes, you do need help. Perhaps your husband is having gay sex at the pool hall?
my advice, ditch him, you dont need that mess in your life (jerry springer crowd cheering), im serious btw
i think if you quit making a big deal about it maybe the tit for tat will stop
Behavior like that is a warning sign. He's over-controlling, and with that paranoia, I wouldn't be suprised if he was the one cheating. But seriously, behavior like that is borderline abusive. The accusations, intentionally telling you one thing and then doing another, it's not a good thing and can wear you down quickly. Be careful how much you allow, and if you feel things are getting dangerous for you mentally or physically, or for your son at all, make sure you have a back up plan on how to get out and where you can go. But either way, he doesn't respect you, plain and simple, and he thinks he can do it because he can. Just be careful if you decide to confront the behavior.
No, its not alright for him to be gone all the time till such late hours...... hes a married man with a baby at home. He has responibilities.





and with his overbearing behaviour, sometimes thats a way to cover up his own guilt. Is he cheating on you? Sounds like he has the oppertunities. Up to you to decide or find out that. Maybe, Maybe not. just be careful in this type of relationship.





Responsibilities are shared by both parties, as well as freedoms should be shared by both as well.
when he goes out without you he doesnt expect you to get mad. but when you go out he gets mad. so what you should do is when you go out and he gets mad you should just act like it is no big deal the way he does. or you should just talk to him about it. if that doesnt work then he is probably cheating on you which you shouldnt have to take so just talk to him and maybe everything will work out. you never know he may just like going to play pool but you gotta find out you cant just live like that
Sweetie, he is obviously cheating, it's calls cheater's guilt. They think that because THEY could cheat, that YOU are probably cheating. It's the whole reason why he accuses you of cheating, because he is probably cheating himself. You need to tell him that his behavior is inappropriate and it needs to change. If it doesn't change then it is going to end your marriage.





I suggest counseling...
I am sorry to tell you this, but you must suspect that he IS cheating on you. I say suspect because neither I, nor you, have any proof of this. What I wll tell you is this, that very often people who are doing something wrong will accuse other people of doing the same thing that they are doing. Even the Bible mentions this part of human nature! He suspects you to be doing just as he may be doing, therefore he keeps you on a very short chain. Let me tell you this, my wife works for Walt Disney World in Orlando. Today is her day off and as an employee she can visit the parks any time she wants, so today she is spending the entire day in the Magic Kingdom, BY HERSELF (trudging Disney is something I don't like to do, and she likes to do different things than me sometimes). That is how a normal marriage works. Should I want to take a day off and go fishing I don't even have to ask her, just tell her where I will be and when to expect me home. That is a normal marriage. You have been deprived of the freedom and dignity of a normal marriage lifestyle, one of mutual trust. And it is because not of anything you have done but by what he is doing. I don't know how you should go about doing it but you need to rule out the possiblity that he is cheating, because you do describe many of the tell tale signs. I hope he is not, but investigate or have him investigated. Now if he is not cheating you still have to deal with the paranoid behavior. I would seek on my own a marriage counselor, I know that you are not allowed out. This can be done online. I would also go to the place of worship of my faith and talk with the leader or worship there. Often they are trained counselors as well and perhaps he will let you go to church without suspecting something. You and he both need help. I hope you can save your marriage for your sake and the sake of your son. A son needs a Daddy to show him what a man is like, how to treat a woman in a marriage, how to be a Dad himself one day, and right now your son is being shown everything a man should not be. And your husband is missing many precious moments in family life as well. I will be praying for you and yours.
The kind of help you need right now is that of a good marriage counselor. If he's willing to go. If he's not willing to go than I suggest you get help from a good divorce lawyer. Even after a horrible night , one would think that they would find more comfort in the arms of the one they love. And maybe that's someone other than you.