Have you had an affair?

Here's the question: if you were the person who cheated and were found out -- do you regret it? Was it worth it? How did your children deal with the turmoil?





What advice would you have for a spouse with a child who is cheating but can't seem to stop?Have you had an affair?
I have been with my wife for 21 yrs and I am guilty, although in the past, of committing this act. I did not need to get ';found out'; to deeply regret it. I actually told my wife after a good amount of emotional turmoil, I realized we could not evolve as a couple if I continued to harbor this secret. This was more of a couple of indescretions as oppose to a full blown longer lasting affair.


The advice for any behaviour of an addictive nature, defined by the statement ';but can't seem to stop';, is to seek counseling. Once into an addiction of any nature it becomes almost imposible to correct the behaviour ones self. Your best thinking got you into this delimma, seek support and I promise you will not regret it. Good LuckHave you had an affair?
i grew up by the time I had my kids. but ya I have cheated in my time, sorry but honestly I only felt bad about it because I got caught. I dont think I ever felt bad for what I was doing. well Im being honest.
No and never plan to have an affair. I have seen what affairs have does to many people getting hurt, and in the end no one wins.
WELL MY MOM CHEATED ON MY DAD, AND I DIDNT CARE TO MUCH........


I FOUND IT WRONG THOUGH THAT MY DAD WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD ME BECAUSE HE WANTED ME TO HATE MY MOM AS MUCH AS HE DOES FOR DOING IT.......


ID SAY DONT TELL THE CHILDREN, I WAS 12 AT THE TIME.........





TELL YOUR SPOUSE SHE NEEDS TO TALK TO HER CHILD!! IT ISNT RIGHT TO CHEAT!
I麓ve never cheated... and my advice would be ';dont do it.'; It麓s really not worth it. If you麓re unhappy with the one you麓re with, leave them.
I do regret it in a way. I mean I regret the way it happened. I did some major damage to children but staying wasn't great either. There's a reason people have affairs. Affairs are amateur psychotherapy! It causes something to happen. I don't think my situation was worth it the way I did it. I totally flipped and left (with the children) but they were so surprised! I could have done it more discreetly. My advice is not to stay with a cheater. That isn't acceptable and it sets a very bad example for the children.
Yes i have and it was very selfish....i would never give up again. I sincerely regret it . I fessed up and told him....and excepted any consequences that were coming my way because i deserved it. We are working it out day by day. My advice would be to communicate no matter how hard it might be......be very honest....but stand your ground on getting ur point across in a loving way......u never kno ur spouse might understand u more than u think
Cheating is about a bigger issue... SELF RESPECT!!! If you can look in the mirror and live with yourself for the issues that you have caused not only to your husband/boyfriend and your children, but to YOURSELF. If you are cheating or thinking about it.....SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP!!!! People cheat because they FEEL that their needs are not being met. This is usually caused by lack of communication!!! You loved him to fall for him and have children. Look for the spark again...
50% of American households are destroyed by divorce. Explain calmly to your husband that you think its not the same, or its not working. Divorce. THe best thing to do is to have your child live with your ex for a while, until you and the person you are cheating with have gotten serious, then the child should start living part time with each, so she has a father, mother, and a second father figure. And possibly a mother figure after.
my advise is - stop being selfish and STOP destroying your family for your kids sake. What's it worth???? I will tell you what it's NOT worth - Having your kid blame you for this your entire life.... Now you make the decision
let them know in a nice way..they are destroying your and your childrens life, and get that person some counsling
Yes, and I and my family recovered from it. My advice is simple. The grass may seem greener on the other side. But, its going to be painful to find out when you get there and the grass is dead.
Yes, I have had an affair. But I divorced my ex and am now married to the man that I had the affair with. I know that doesn't make it right. My ex also had cheated on me continuously and our marriage was nothing but a lie from the beginning with him. So, no I don't regret and yes it was worth it. My children responded well with it. They don't hardly see their real father and consider my husband now as their daddy.





For the advice part. If your not happy in your current relationship and that is why you are cheating than end it. It is not healthy to stay in a relationship just for the children. I tried it for about 2 years. It just doesn't work. If your current relationship has lost its spark, go on a vacation just the two of you. Try to get it back. If not, then leave. There isn't a reason in the world to keep your gf/bf or spouse if you are going to keep cheating.
Yes I have. But the difference is I kept my mouth shut and took it for what it was. Never told anyone. It didn't make me feel great, except for when I was in the throws. My advice is to be true, or at least be discrete.





My advice to the child would be to give them a graphic picture of their life once the divorce preceedings start.
I have never cheated BUT my partner did on me .....yeah i know once a cheater always a cheater but i am still with him





we kept it between our self and didnt let everyone know, we tried to work it out between ourself and i told him exactly what would happen if he did it again.and exactly how i felt about it


he knows if i catch him again , well i am finished with him, and as we have a daughter together then we just go to court about her so he can see her , i am not letting him have everythin his own way.i love my b/f to bits and it totally crushed me when i found out..and i would be even more crushed if he did it again ..but i guess we all can make that mistake just once





He told me he regretted it and also told me it wasnt worth loosing myself or his daughter over it





I think with cheating it is something you have to think long and hard about , like what if it happened again How would you feel? how about the children ,how do they feel? is it worth being with a cheater? ........i asked myself so many questions and put NO next to nearly all of them,and i was ready to leave him but then i also believe everyone is entitled to at least 1 2nd chance





If they cant stop cheating ..well it is simple.....they dont care if what they have is gone cuz they dont respect or love it enough to stay loyal to what they have in front of them
the question is why would i cheat on my spouse if i truly love her?!





if your spouse can cheat you once, the odds are you will be cheated again and again...
I have been married 23 yrs. My husband cheated on me 1 month after we were married and continued . I stayed with him because I loved him and I couldn't bare the thought of my children coming from a broken home.I finally had enough when he cheated with a ';friend'; the hurt they put on this family is indescribable. If you are going to cheat be brave enough to get a divorce . It takes a coward to cheat and the children will think of you that way.
seek counselling...