Friday, August 20, 2010

Should I break it off?

My fiance and I have been together a little over 5 years we just found out we were expecting in Jan. about 6 months after we got engaged which we weren't planning on having children anytime soon(I was on birth control) but things happen, so we've accepted it and have become excited after the inital shock and fear. We have had some problems, such as he cheated on me early on and he had a minor drug problem (marijuana) and a few other little bumps. But I've pretty much let those problems go and can work through those kind of problems. I guess my main problem is the relationship with him and his family. And I understand everybody is raised differently, and maybe there relationship is normal, and that the family relationship I've been raised around is abnormal. But that's why I'm here, to get everyone elses opinion. On if their relationship is normal, if not is this something I should break it off over, or if you have opinions on how to handle the situation. I was always raised that family is important, but as you become an adult priorities shift a little, then when you find your partner and start a family priorities shift even more. And that you do as I guess the bible says leave your mother and father cling to your wife. And I don't mean you don't see them anymore but you share your life and make decsions with your spouse and take care of your ';new'; family together. BUT his family (mainly his stepmother) seem to try and control his life and mine. Now we are both adults and when they try to tell me what I need to be doing, I try to thank them for their opinion but I've made my decsion or something of that sort. But say he has a doctor's appointment she has to with him like he's still a child. He has to go to court today, and I asked him do you want me to go with you for support? (I had the day off anyways) No he says I don't want anybody to go, I'm an adult I can go on my own. Then I call him while he's on his way, to wish him luck and asked him to call me when he gets out to let me know how things go. And he tells me he's in the car with his stepmom that she was taking him, because she wanted to be there for him. And if she throws her opinion in on something, or calls and says she want's to come over and help with the nursery or wants to take me to a doctors appointment, and I say no for some reason, since we live together she'll call him, and get him to say yes and next thing I know she's at the house. And I understand people get excited when a baby's coming into the picture, and I her help sometimes, but sometimes I'd just like to do things on my own. I've tried talking to him and explaining I think this is problem and can't deal with it but it doesn't seem to help. Am I wrong and what should I do?Should I break it off?
it does seem like his step mother really drives his life...





sometimes those family bonds are hard for some people to break as adults, and unfortunetly they develop sort of a co-depency (where they are still attached to family when they really should be focusing on how to make a life of their own)





i would sit him down one day and talk to him about how you feel. i would tell him that you feel uncomfortable with his step mother having a hand in everything that he does in life. (only admit what you are truly feeling, do not allow anger to control your emotions)





if he says that he is not willing to change, i would let him know that it's really pulling you away from him and that you feel like you would have trouble making things work if his 'ways' continue.Should I break it off?
I would say to you is nobody is listening I would break it off until he does listen because this women is very bossy and is very controlling and is not growing up and this women needs to know her place you have no personal life
Remember 1Corinthians 13: 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.





It takes a strong woman to put up with men like us. I thank god every day for my wife. He does too I bet.





God bless, and congrats.
In my opinion, you are plently old enough to make your own decisions. If you've been engaged for 5 years, then you have to be at least in your twenties. If you're having a child with this man, then letting his family get in the way is definitely NOT worth it! Tell him to man up and that you and your baby need him right now - not his step mother.

2 comments:

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