I agree that if I was cheated on I would want to know. However, because the affair happened within the family circle, letting it out in the open could cause a big riff in the family. The couples who know about the affair, including yourself, should not tell the cheater's husband. It is not your place. If she has stopped the affair then it is her choice to tell her husband or not. If she does not tell him, she is the one who has to be eaten away by her guilty secret. But if you, or anyone else who knows, tells on her then you will be held responsible for destroying the family. Let it rest on the cheater.My friend is cheating on her husband, but there's more. What should I do?
t If was me I would tell him all about it. A man out working trying to take care of his family does not need a trap wh..re for a wife. Let me assure you its easy to get over a wife that's going with his niece. Yep she's a trap, send her down the road kicking up gravel.He will find someone else that doesn't stay in the gutter.
I disagree I have been cheated on and would want to know. If she is truly sorry for what she did and her husband really loves her then he will work things out.
If it was your wife, would you want to know. How would you feel if your wife was having this affair with your sisters nephew and all your friends knew about it and not one of them had the courtesy to tell you about it. So while you are thinking everything is okay and no problems, you keep making love to your wife that just got done having sex with your nephew. I think if you were in his shoes, you would want to know and have the chance to deal with it.
Stay out of it. In time the laundry will have to be done and you dont want your fingerprints on it !
So the husbands sister is with the nephew who is not one of the 4 couples but the other couple is the one making up the four. The Children of the first couple are about to be destroyes and the 3rd couple do not watn to tell anyone because of the consequences. The Aunt is love with the nephew but the Uncle is not involved......I will think about it and get back to you..................
All kinds of mistakes are made. But you are right to let her handle it. I really think she needs to become the best person she can be. We all make mistakes and sometimes they really do hurt. But if they can learn to communicate with each other, (husband and wife), they can work through it. We did. And our relationship has been good for many yrs now. PS, it was my mistake.
if the whole thing has stopped than they should drop it too I would tell them to stay out of it as long as it never happens again if it was to happen again then I would say they should say something other wise tell them to let it go!!!! the past is the past let it be!!!
If its now over i cant see the point in friendstelling to much distruction plus how would the husband feel to know that his so called friends have known about it all along and not said nothing. it really is their business. its too late to tell now.
He should be told. She's gotten away with it and now knows how. He must be made aware of it so...
1. He can choose what he wants to do.
2. Can put his spider senses on full tilt. This will be important for him to be able to cut past the deceptive tactics she's used.
3. She needs to be put on front street for the wrongs done to her husband. She needs to feel ALL the guilt of her crime.
From a women who was cheated on.... I say tell. I was so hurt to know Friends and others knew about my now EX Husbands affair and never said a thing. I felt like a fool and not really cared about like they thought what he was doing was okay. I child was born out of his affair and I learn about all this during my 6th month of being pregnant with out second child.
BTW- the age differents makes me question her judgement.
Not your place to tell him, and whoever does will lose his friendship, I promise it always happens that way! If she has truly stopped, then forgive her and give her a support system so she will not return to the relationship! What he never knows can't hurt him, but finding out most likely would break up the marriage!
THE BEST THING TO DO IS LET HER DEAL WITH IT, SHE IS THE ONE THAT WAS CHEATING AND SHE HAVE TO DEAL WITH HER CONSCIENCE AND HER HUSBAND, AND NO BODY READY KNOWS WAST GOING ON IN A MARRIAGE
Since she did end it, I would keep my mouth shut this time. If it happens again, I would tell him right away about both instances. And, I would tell her what I will do if it happens again.
I agree with you. Stay out of it and let the wife decide. If you interfere and the family breaks up, it will be partly your fault. Can you live with that?
Nobody else has the right to decide to punish her.
Look sooner or later he will find out. Noone needs to be a ';rat'; and tend to other peoples business. Not good for your health. Stay out of other peoples business is the best advice I can give. This is the best advice.
I think you should ask your self this... ';would you want to know';
Aside from that, it isnt any one elses concern, and they need to mind their own, rather then butting in every one elses. No one knows what happens behind closed doors, perhaps her husband isnt every thing he claims to be, and the only reason she dont expose him is because she loves him.
My husband is a real jerk, but out side every one thinks he is great, smart and more, I allow them to think that, and they will think it until my divorce. I dont want every one in my biz so I keep it quiet.
Maybe she has the same issue, so every one else needs to stick a pie in their hole and allow her to work it out her self, some things are better left unsaid.
Also when you look at the age difference, you can see she wasnt looking for support, she wouldnt have gotten it from an 18 year old, she was likely looking for the sex or some one to listen to her.
I say tell every one to forget it ever happened, leave it alone.
Let them know by themselves. Don't involve too much. Family life is not as simple as you think. Sometimes they have some reasons to keep their family to be stable. May be her husband has already known, but still keeps his relationship for some reasons those you haven't known before.
I know it's not acceptable but it's better if you can learn from that case.
CHEATING IS CHEATING THEIR FAMILY NEEDS TO KNOW MAYBE THEY'LL BE STRONG ENOUGH TO SURVIVE IT SHE SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT DESTROYING HER FAMILY BEFORE SHE DECIDED TO SLEEP WITH HER NEPHEW SHE DESERVES WHATEVER COMES HER WAY I'M SORRY AND MAYBE YOU SHOULD START INVESTING IN NEW FRIENDS
It is best to stay out of it and let what happens happen
in a close circle of friends i assume you can talk about almost everything so you can imagine how uncomfortable it is for some of the group to know something 'secret' about others in the group,,it will make meeting up hard work for those who know,,anytime something similar comes up there will be subtle looks,secretive whispers and that is hard on a friendship. the person having the affair should stop it and the rest should keep quiet,,if the affair continues,,the person who is being cheated on should be told otherwise all you are doing is allowing her to hurt your friend,,she knows the trouble it would cause so if she is prepared to cause so much upset between all of you she doesnt care anyway,,so why should you,,he would have support from you all and she would lose you all.but it would seem fair then,,wouldn't it.
If you call the husband your friend tell him and if you can;t bring yourself to tel him your not his friend put yourself in his shoes would you want to know.
If it over then stay out of it, if she feels she needs to tell him at some point that's up to her.
According to Jewish tradition, any married woman found to commit illicit affair must be put to death. In our present age, there are people who still can tolerate wife commiting illicit affair. But with her nephew... this is something very shameful and should not be tolerated.
What is hidden must be revealed. We cannot protect criminal or hide them in our house. If you treat your friend as friend, then you should be honest to him when you know this affair will destroy his family and maybe his entire family life.
Let your friend know about the affair and help him to go through the pain. Let him decide what to do. Whether he is willing to show grace, forgiveness or mercy, it all depends on him.
It is better for him to know the truth than to live with an adulterous wife. Never support evil deeds but help your friend to overcome this reality. Otherwise, his effort and love for the family may end up in total wastage or destruction.
Let him know, so that he can decide what to do for his future before he is too old or weak to handle this heavy blow.
I think your right it should be her choice to tell i mean after all she did stop the affiar plus its all most the holidays plus he may be mad at all of you for know for so long and not tell you need to tell the other couple to back out of it
Okay...Here is a problem. They are both consenting adults! Now with the family...I have found it in the past best to stay out of it. There is the problem with you knowing about it but do you really want to make it worse by insterting yourself into the mix? Everything will come out and I believe that all parties need to know the truth.
Don't tell
I think you guys should intervene here because when it DOES come out and the husband knows that everybody knew but him, he's going to feel like he was cheated on by EVERYONE. It will look like everyone chose to keep it from him and sided with the cheater. Also, the cheater put ALL OF YOU in this position of having to choose what to do. What kind of friend is that? You need to be a real friend to the husband who's getting YANKED? I agree with the couple that has said if she won't tell him then they will. They are giving her the chance to come clean or she's going to look mighty stupid.
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