Can anyone else relate?

I am a very happily married man and this is my second marriage. The first marriage of 15 years ended rather messy because of infidelity on the part of my spouse. I have constantly criticized her for going outside of our marriage all the while withholding any physical contact with me. I am not just talking days; I am referring to years of abstinence. This was supposed to be a medical condition on her part, physical contact was too painful for her. So what do you do, leave her? What kind of person would that make me?





Now here I am 7 years later with an incredible wife and a loving home and what do I do? Fall for another woman. Don鈥檛 get me wrong there has been no inappropriate activity or any kind of situation that would constitute an affair; however there are definitely strong feelings on both parts I think. This girl is smart, funny, and beautiful; I mean she is drop dead gorgeous. I have not perused her nor will I.





This is my situation, after years of disdain for my ex-wife and preaching about how wrong it is to cheat. I have been humbled in the respect that for the first time in my life I understand why some people get tempted. I mean this person in my life is the only individual that has ever made me question my principals and I believe this situation was dealt to me to help me understand and perhaps even forgive.





Can anyone else relate?Can anyone else relate?
Yes, there are many spices out there and only a few get into ones taste buds, but if you are committed to one spice and enjoy it, then that is all you would need, temptations are put out there for effect, and fantasy, leave it were it belongs and preserve the spice you have. To love one is a blessing to love another as well is a torture against your being, choose what you want most. and commit to that be it your wife, your fantasy girl, your honor, your pride, self worth.


Good luck its not easy but its all part of this great adventureCan anyone else relate?
I can relate in the sense that, whenever I answer questions here, I try to remember the saying, ';There but for the grace of God go I.'; In general, people are not truly evil - they're trying to do their best but sometimes failing. What's important is to try your best to be a good person, and to do the right thing, no matter what temptations life might present you.
Yes lots of guys can relate. It's easy for others on here to say a cheat is the scum of the earth but they've most likely never been put in a position where they entertained the idea. My ex decided after our second child was one year old that we wouldn't have more so we didn't need to have sex. She did relent very little. After years of begging and pleading I just couldn't take it anymore and left. Did I stray? Yes! I don't condone cheating either. Sometimes though you can be put in a position that just pushes you over the edge. You've got to do what's good for you. A long life without sex is going to turn you bitter.
Forgiveness can come in many packages and yours came skin tight. The fact that you ';fall'; for another individual does not constitute to infidelity, that is where real character, wisdom and maturity kicks in and it is obvious you have not reached that point yet in your life.





Instead of ';relating'; to your ex and finding an excuse in her behavior for your present unfaithful thinking, you should find it in your heart to act the way a true man would act, the way you would have chosen her to act instead of falling to the pit of adultery..





If you do not love your wife, divorce her and avoid hurting her like your ex did to you. Then you can re-consider this fling you now have which most likely fade away once is not the forbidden any longer.