Has anyone ever hired a private investigator for a cheating spouse? any suggestions, words to the wise.?

Just found out recently that my husband has been cheating. He had an affair with this ';woman'; prior to our wedding and was to have ended it. It is a sexually thing that has occurred throughtout the years. I recently had a harassment investigation with the police about her but it has been dropped since my husband was involved with her and lied to the police. She provided emails of the affair and phone logs.


She said she has over 1,000 emails. If I hire a private investigator will that person be able to get the emails from her? She has them saved to her hard drive and I need to know how long this has been going on (if it ever really ended, thus I haven't had a real marriage) and possibly for future use should I decide to procede with divorce. I'm not bitter. I am hurt, trying to think smart and deal with everything all at once. Any helpful suggestions would be very helpful and appreciated. Thank you for you time.Has anyone ever hired a private investigator for a cheating spouse? any suggestions, words to the wise.?
if you already know he is cheating, why waste your money on a private investigator.......make your plan and divorce himHas anyone ever hired a private investigator for a cheating spouse? any suggestions, words to the wise.?
The courts don't really care if he was cheating or not. So, my advice is not to waste your money. I was quite sure my ex was cheating and it didn't make a difference in court. However, in my situation, if I had hired an private investigator, I would have been able to better prepare.
What are you thinking. He cheated end of story. Get an annulment and move on. Why would you want this guy in your life? You deserve somebody who treats you better.
If you want to think 'smart' WHY the hell would you even considering to hire a PI to find out what you already KNOW? He is cheating and never ended the affair with this woman. It doesnt matter how long its been.


The only thing you should be deciding is who gets what via the divorce. I don't understand women like you. He is a liar and cheater and you think this can be worked out? He even lied to the police to protect HER. Sounds like love to me...you have been fooled and now your playing the fool...wisen up and leave the creep.
I wouldn't do anything especially waste money on trying to find out when you might not anyway besides there are probably many other women not just the one! My opinion is what difference does it make! Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and caryy on - keep moving, this situation will hold you back, be financially over whelming and will drag you down do not waste anymore energy on this - waste your energy on trying to go forth in life not backwards!
I guess what you need to do first is find out what you want...If you want a divorce, sounds to me like you have enough grounds for it.





But if you are not ready to call it quits (for whatever reasons), then I'd suggest you go to counseling or therapy, so you can vent and get insight from a trained professional.





Some people can ';forgive and forget';...but some cannot, no matter how hard they try. IMO, trust is a basic ingredient in a marriage..and if you don't have it, you have nothing, really.


Good luck.
What do you want more proof for? If you are positive he cheats, and have some real evidence (that can be used in court), that is all you need.


Digging deeper into the wound will do nothing but make you feel more hurt inside and will not change the fact that he cheated.


Yes, you want the whole story, but what for? Better save that money for a mean attorney and leave that no good husband of yours begging for mercy from you.





Now, if you are not sure you want to divorce him, it also won't change the fact he cheated, whether it's 3 or 1000 emails. What you need to do is keep a log of each and every cent you spend at home, have access to all accounts, trust funds or any form of income there may be, and keep your eyes and ears open at all times, just in case. But truth of the matter is, this is not a life.
I know you feel it's necessary to do all of these things. We need validation, we need proof, we want all the answers because we think that's what it takes to put this thing to rest. But it doesn't. It only gives us more bit(hing rights. It gives us more things to hold over his head. It allows us to have more proof so that we can waller in our self pity and others will feel sorry for us. It's so we can have more evidence to prove that not only was he a big jerk, but an even bigger one. None of these things are necessary. You know the truth. He cheated on you and you know this. You need to be really strong right now. The best thing you can do is to 100% completely remove him out of your life. This will hurt him more than any words you will ever say to him. If he can't ever see your face, if he can't even hear you bit(h at him will eat him alive. When he really feels he's lost you and can't even get a single second on the telephone to hear your voice will hurt more. The more proof you have, the more bit(ching you will do, the more he will tire of it, the sooner he will distance himself and want to be with someone else. Stay strong, don't let him hear a single peep out of you. He will never even know if you're filing for divorce...he will always wonder and it will drive him mad. But you have the proof, what more do you want? Be strong!!!!!!!!!! You're way better than this!