Difficutly with my marriage?

My husband and I have been married for 6 years now. We have a son and daughter together. But lately I have been feeling so distant from him. Like we have no connection. He is deployed right now, but I still feel like I don't love him anymore. I talk to him everyday so I feel like I dont' miss him at all. Everytime I talk to him on messenger or on the phone I just feel weird. I don't know why or what, I just feel horrible. He has lied to me in the past about a few stuff, nothing big like cheating, but on other topics. I would never dream of leaving my husband while he is fighting for our country, but I am so tired of fighting and dealing with the same stuff. We fight weekly and then we are in a good mood with one another for a couple of days before we are fighting again. Then we fight about the same stuff over and over again. I'm just tired of fighting and don't know if I love him anymore. How do you know if you love your spouse? How do you know when it is time to leave them?Difficutly with my marriage?
my hubby is deployed too. sometimes i feel the same way as u. your not alone. people don't understand military lifestyles. unless u are dealing with it. stay strong.Difficutly with my marriage?
Seems like you've got a loaded situation right now. I'd definitely talk with a counselor before you make any decisions, especially since you have children together and he is deployed. Have you thought or asked him how he is feeling lately? This also may be helpful to understand why you are arguing alot. Sometimes, we don't know what is going on with the other person and how they are feeling. That's my two cents...
Right now, your marriage is tough. All marriages go through times where things are difficult, but your's is especially difficult with him being so far away. It must be even harder to remember why you love him.





You need to fight through! Think of your kids, your husband, AND yourself. I know plenty of young, attractive single moms who work and keep their kids, but are miserable becaue they're lonely. I hate to sound mean, but a woman with kids is rarely desirable by most men, OR a target for bad men.





My advice is simple, ';Fake it til you make it.';





Too many people just give up. Then the kids suffer, 'blended' families are usually unhappy, everything becomes a mess.





I know you're lonely right now, but it gets better. The fighting will become less frequent, your kids will mature, you'll be so much happier when he comes home, and life will get easier.





Hang in there!





God bless you and your family.
As a military wife, you hve many options (all free) for counseling etc and support groups. There is no need to suffer thru this alone. Reach out to other wives, who are undoubtedly having some of these same issues. None of your issues can be worked out with your hubby while he is deployed (the support groups will tell you this), so work on yourself right now til he returns. Then you can do counseling together.
Me and my wife have been married for just over 5 years, have two kids, argue off and on, and I'm currently deployed. I'll tell you this, if I came home to divorce papers or anything less than loving arms, I would be very upset. It doesn't matter how much you argue or how distant you feel, marriage isn't something you just walk out of. Marriage isn't easy, you have to work at it as a team and make it work.





Love is like this, to give an analogy, when you fall in love and go through the begging of your marriage, you have enough love to fill a drinking glass. As time goes on you still have the same amount of love, but your glass gets bigger and next thing you know your trying to fill a bucket with one glass. What you and your husband need to do is try to make your love grow so it can fill the bucket.
If he is over seas, he is under a lot of stress. Right now he need your support, love and understanding. Be his friend like you were before. You can fight when he gets home. Sorry, but you sound like you are more about ';you'; than you are about ';us';, the marriage and family. If you are fighting, it is probably over little things... how can they be big with him overseas. Stop worrying about the little things and just be non-judgmental and support. You might want to see a counselor for some help on your issues. Yes, I know, they may not be your issues, but it can't hurt and might help. Do it for the kids.
you dont need advice from a bunch of dr. phil wannabees here darlin. you need good sound advice from a marriage counselor or minister that can help you work out all these issues in your mind. good luck
sorry to say but i think your marriage as run it course. you have fallen out of love. i think you know that in your own heart. but you want a second opinion. and what you have posed. tells me it OVER BETWEEN YOU. so i suggest try and make it painless as possible. good luck.
when you have to ask yourself if u still love them then u no something is not there anymore. he can be under stress that is why he keeps fighting wit u, i think u need to just explain to him how it annoys u when u keep fighting about the same things over and over. everyone lies about small little things, i am sure even u have done it. just give it time and everything will work out.
You're used to him not being around. You're not emotionally connected to someone that's not there. Wait until he comes home and see where things stand then.
He's just far away right now, physically as well as in your heart, it happens with people when they're apart for a wjile, when he returns , although you might feel awkwards at first , give it some time.You might start feeling the same feeling you had for him not too long ago. People are weird sometimes, things get weird sometimes thats a part of marriage, hang in there!
First off, what your husband it doing for our country is very, very noble. However, it still doesn't make your feelings or your happiness any less important. If you leave him now, if you leave him later, it's still going to hurt, so that shouldn't be a factor. What you do owe the father of your children is honesty. Let him know how you're feeling. Let him know it's not another man. Let him know that you've grown apart like thousands of couples do everyday. Life is TOO short to be unhappy, Honey.
I think the way your feeling is normal, Your husband is far away, your missing him and he's missing you, sure there is anger from you both this is so hard to be away.. Sometimes we distance ourselfs from people we love, because we're afraid we're going to loose them and with him being in danger you might just be afraid he won't come home, so there fore your pushing him away so it won't hurt so bad and he could be doing the same.. Don't let go of him, I'm sure you still love him and want him more than you'll let yourself feel and him the same..Think about the day he is back in your arms and kissing you and you feel safe again with him...Now is not a time to leave,, Be proud of him for saving our lives and try to understand what he is going thru right now, Let him know how much you love him and how you long for him to be home with you and your children.. He needs to feel you have his back right now and your going to be there when he gets home..I'm sure he thinking you might not be and that angers and worries him.. You have nothing to loose to wait for him to get home.. I'm sure once your back together your feelings will be right back where they should be.. Hold on....Its worth the wait,,, You'll see.....
a successful marraige requires falling in love with the same person over and over again





do it for the kids if not the 6 years,,,,,,,,
Well i guess you all have a little distance between i guess the void of sex life has made you mad and he is stuck to defend the country and earn the living for you and your children have you ever thought about he could be killed there and never get to see his children graduate or getting married and while all this it will make you Rich ! and also J B said it Right !
I guess is that he is not working I will feel the same , want to help and how is it feels impotent.


Try to understand him


And if this is not the problem he might have some one also out there.
So your husband is a soldier fighting overseas and you should be his comfort.


Instead you have fights with him on the phone and spend his money and cause him more stress?


You also don't think you love him anymore?


You are a bad person. You do not deserve him.
Avoid negative psychology





Negative comments inhibit others from offering ideas. Such methods as discounting people or their ideas, even in subtle and unintended ways. For example the word 'but' discounts all that was said beforehand.





Seek positive synergies





Positive energies that enthuse and energise people and build on each others' ideas. Everyone should expect to contribute to their full potential. This is not a session for passengers or observers.





Assume positive intent





Most negative behaviour is triggered by fear. If you feel threatened you will act that way, which can trigger corrosive reactions.





If, on the other hand, you assume that other people think well of you, even if you offer half-thought-out ideas, then you are far more likely to join openly in creative discussions.





Good Luck
rather then just leaving him try giving msn some time off tell him your internet was playing up then see how you feel after it. if you miss him then when he comes back yous need a holiday together and if you dont then talk to him about it when he comes back plz dont do it when he is away !
Well, talk it out with him. Get a bit passionate, and compassionate. Often, the right mixture of both will prove to be good for you. I will only add, may God show you both the right path and bless you with a happy married life.
Before you even begin to talk divorce you should read books, seek counciling even if you have to go without your husband.


Every marriage has fights. You just have to be strong enough to put them behind you. I have only been married 8 years. And yes my husband and I used to fight over the same stuff over and over again. But when you are fighting try not to bring up the thoughts and feelings of the last fight. It will be hard to do but it will help.


Also if you just do searching online you may even find some great counciling. And try books like how to communicate with your husband. And when he gets home make sure you have a babysitter and a nice romantic time planned. My husband and I went on a marriage counciling weekend and it was perfect. Now we try hard to get at least 1 night a month to ourselves. There is alot you can do to hold on to your marriage. And whe n you feel you may not love him. Just remember why and when you feel in love to begin with. He is the same person things are just changing and you are learning new things about him even after 20 years you will still be learning new things about him. But never give up.
The main thing most couples fight over is money, but I imagine since he is totally out of the picture right now, there are other issues with the home %26amp; kids.Maybe you should get into some counseling before he comes home and sort your feelings out. All marriages get in a rut, and sometimes, you just need to rekindle that spark.Take care and good luck!
It sounds like you are both under a tremendous amount of stress. I don't think it has anything to do with love. Remember what you describe as love is an emotion so go back to the commitment you made when you exchanged marriage vows.





Figure out what are the issues that spark the fighting. Are they financial? Lack of having him close by when decisions have to be made? Resolve not to fight and do what you can to help take the pressure off of both of you. Make decisions and don't trouble him since he is too far away to really be of help.





If you have parents who are supportive maybe you can consult with them on some issues so someone else is sharing the load. That will be a relief to both you and your husband.





Every marriage goes through trials, but just hang in there and work through the issues. It will be very worthwhile.
It must be very hard for you. I actually read an article to help me get through my own relationship problem. It's called ';soulful relationship';
only you can answer that question only you know how you feel and if you love him or not i think its being away from each other for so long your drifting apart maybe all you need is time together. so if he ever gets leave take advantage of it.
Violence and fighting is bad news. Perhaps you could talk to someone who is not involved with your family or his? Distance can make the heart grow fonder---or if you are feeling as you do at the moment, perhaps the relationship will be destroyed. Do you love him? Can you live without him? Will you miss him? What about his children?


Rosa
Girlfriend, I have been married for almost 33 years and I can tell you this..........in marriage you go through good times and bad times. You go through times of arguing and then wonderful times. If you fell in the love with this man and he is treating you and your kids well (no physical or emotional abuse, he's not any type of addict, he's not a cheater) then find that thing about him that made you fall in love with him and think about it all the time.





Divorce is a waste of time, is emotionally destructive for the children, does a horrific number on your personal finances for the years and years. (in particular it hurts women)





Right now you need that physical connection with your spouse. I've always felt that sex was the thing that got us through the tough times of our marriage.





I completely agree with JB's assessment; ';Fake it til you make it.';





Good luck, I hope you find the peace that you desire and deserve.
I think this is a very good question, after he comes home from the war! Then see how things are? Right now he is not even there in person with you. Your fights are a result of long distance relationship. Haven't you ever heard that long distance relationships do not work? This is why! Wait til he gets back please, until then stop even asking yourself this question while this man is in prison basically.

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