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Hi Guys,
This is not a male bashing question, but I think it is what most women wonder and I am open minded so I will not judge. Unlike a lot of women, I really do understand it when a man says sex is just sex, and please know that I am in no way saying this is all men because that's not fair. The rapper T.I. has a verse in one of his songs that says ';I will fill your space, and forget your face, I swear I will so I am aware of how some men think.
Question:
Why do men who have so much to lose cheat? I understand him feeling like he will never get caught, I understand not being able to resist temptation, I understand not feeling appreciated, I understand things changing with the wife or girlfriend, whatever those things may be, but when there is so much at stake, why? The mentioned above are just the reasons I have heard over years, but I don't know if they are the main reasons.
I have never been cheated on ';TO MY KNOWLEDGE';, it's not something I have had to deal with personally, but a man should not have to cheat in order to know how much he loves his woman. But is a quick nut or stripper type sex, a supermodel body (even though that's not what most men cheat with) really worth the mentioned below.
-Marriage or Relationship
-A broken home that produces broken children (if you have any)
-Pain to EVERYONE involved
-Being someone else's God. (If you bring a disease home like HIV then you have decided her fate, not God) Applies if you have a religion
-House
-Money
-Respect
-Friendships
-Respected Jobs and or positions
-The grass is not greener on the other side syndrome
-Regret and Shame
-In some cases public humiliation
-Ranks, along with other things I left out
Sometime men cheat, and even though their spouse or girlfriend was hurt, it actually ';eventually'; worked out in everyone's favor this is why this is not a negative question it's just an informal one; why isn't there more self control if or when there is much more to lose if you get caught?
Women, I understand men who don't have much to lose cheat to, but I am not asking why do men cheat, I am asking why do ';established men'; cheat.(Men Only Please) WOMEN, please DON'T answer this question, I don't want us trying to think like men?
You clearly don't understand men or you would have made that shorter.(Men Only Please) WOMEN, please DON'T answer this question, I don't want us trying to think like men?
That was waaaaaaaaay too long to hold a man's interest.
Anyway.... ummm yes :-)
i agree with Dustin. wow that's a long question.
I stopped reading at ';This is not a male bashing question...'; due to the obvious need to justify what you're going to do...
Glad i had this to read on the toilet. Until women own a pair of balls they will never understand. If a man wants sex, he will have sex. Established men cheat probably through boredom. same wife/girlfriend every day, same job etc. Bit of excitement innit! Please write another novel soon...
tl,dr
Men cheat for reasons that are similar to why women cheat. Ask any of your female friends that have cheated and you will see. And, yes, this is a male bashing question. If it wasn't, you would have been asking why PEOPLE cheat.
It is worth cheating if it means that he doesn't have to listen to long-winded stupid questions like this one.
Men cheat for the same reason women do. It's the whole forbidden fruit scenario.
When something is forbidden and you realise you are...like...at 'risk' because you will loose so much from it if you are caught...it effects human instincts. Initially like daring us to carry out the forbidden act. It's more passionate and hot and heated.
Men and Women both have these effects before someone assumes I am saying it's all men...plus I am a man as well so I wouldn't really say my own gender is the only to cheat.
But yeah basically it's the whole forbidden fruit effect. The knowledge of the fact that if we are caught we will loose so much and the fact that this makes the act daring and intense makes it seem so alluring...wrong yet addictive. Most people crave to escape the 'middle class' dream which they fall into as adults. They grow bored of the marriage, the job, the children. They want fun and something intense so when it comes along, maybe in the form as a new secretary with tall slim legs and a low cut top...it seems like a sudden rush of adrenaline to escape reality for moments and become naughty. Making it a heated, passionate moment.
Hope I helped?
Also can I add that I have NEVER cheated. Never will hopefully.
:)
established men cheat? despite being rich, stable, peaceful, having a super beauty hot sexy wife?
for every beautiful woman outside there, there's always one men will be bound to get bored sleeping her
Tiger woods is my idol
look at them nobody have a answer for you
i want to say something this question cant be pretty good for women too we aren';t better
Men who have something to lose as well as single men or men in a brand new marriage cheat because they are missing something in their marriage. It could be affection, love or the perception they are not loved, relationship problems, emotional loneliness, boredom or feelings of emptiness. There are many reasons men cheat and most often it's not because they aren't getting laid enough at home. A guy may think about what he has to lose but a stiff dick has no conscience...particularly when he feels his wife really isn't working hard enough to maintain their relationship. Sometimes losing a lifestyle is worth the price they've paid to start things over.
You act like you understand men more than any other woman, yet,
a) you wrote a question about 5 times too long to keep your average male interested.
b) you worded your question as if only men do this, when women do JUST as much, often with much more to lose
I'll answer this. Personally I've never cheated but know guys who have done so and some of them repeatedly. Quite frankly they are not thinking AT ALL when they do it, they are thinking with their wedding tackle and nothing else. The sex is on offer, they take the chance and bingo they have cheated. Some get the taste for it, some like the excitement but most are just plain horny at the time and push the guilt to one side. Some fall in love with two women but most just want the thrill of illicit sex.
They usually regret it once caught but then it is too late.
That said, not all men cheat...
Q: Why do men who have so much to lose cheat?
A: Lack of self-control.
I would say they are bored, they would like something new. Most men like diversity, and ya its most of the time going to be an in and out deal. And like almost all of us dont think they are going to get caught. I do believe that they are cheating because they are getting something that they are not getting at home. what! i dont know. you may think that you give him everything you want. But im sure its much much more then that.
and as for the song you were talking about. forget rap music its stupid anyway more of rap music is about stuff like that. i wouldnt let that one get to ya.
As a well established man, I have not and never will cheat. Reasons: My wife is the bomb in bed, she give me BJs, gives me anal and leaves rings around my c o c k with her lipstick.
tl;dr
It is very, very simple.
Marriage is an unnatural state for people, men in particular.
The options are cope, cheat, or divorce.
Divorce and custody laws is sexist and a royal screwing and expensive for men.
So cheating is the best option.
C'mon, no sane minded male is going to take the time to read all that. I skimmed through all the way to the T.I. reference. NEVER use a rap song to reference why men do anything. Do I look like T.I.?? Stop trying to figure men out. We have basically given up on trying to figure you women out. You worry about you and let us worry about us. Typing up a short story is not the best way to get a guys opinion.
Sorry - too long.
Risk and temptation is what I have always found at my
feet. I am ( or at least consider myself ) a very good guy; yet I have cheated In the majority of my relationship. I believe that it's because I've gotten bored by the old ( girl at home waiting ), calling the same women everyday, sleeping with her, but when you kiss someone new it is 10x as exzilerating then having sex with you partner. I may be wrong, but in my experiences I always seemed to be looking for excitment. I found it and it hurt me in the long run as it did the women I dated; yet NOT one knows of it to this day. Just knowing the one girl I actually love, I cheated on. It hurt me and I ended the relationship becuase I felt as if that wasn't me. It happened again after that too. Honesly how many people can say they've never cheated? It may not be as many as I think, but still will be a fair amount. It's all about wanting what you can't have. I believe that's what brings the excitment on and makes you want to do it ( not say no ). What crazy is most of my friends are degraiting to women or just no where near respectful to them as i am; yet I have cheat on more women and had sex with more. I'm the guy who will buy flower, take you out, open the door, be polite, listen, and give a back rub without expecting anything in return. I don't think I'm a '; bad guy '; I've just made mistakes i guess. Got caught up in the action and excitement. You don't really consider what you have a risk till after the fact, and when the time comes you've already risked it all might as well stay with it. When talking about have sex with someone and then not talking to them. That has only happened once and that when I was taken advantage of ( not saying I didn't want it, but when your drunk you get stuiped) by a girl I had known for a while. I was single as was she. We just didn't really talk after that. Not really her avoiding me or visversa. Majority of the sexual relationship I've entered have all been layed out with what we both want to get out of it so no one would be confused. It's different when you pick up a girlfrom the bar. They want it and you do too is my feeling.
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