Husband asked another girl to go out for a couple of beers?

***Sorry this is so long, please take the time to read. I'm very worried!***





Over the last 4 weeks, my husband has suddenly become very distant. He's home for a late dinner and by the time we're done with dishes and have the kids in bed, he's ready for bed. We hardly talk anymore and our sex life has gone from 3 times a week (with him initiating) to once a week. It takes a great deal of effort on my part to even get him to do that. It's like he's sleeping with me because I'm begging him, not because he wants to. The last 4 saturdays in a row he's been going out ';with the guys';. Two of those Saturdays he didn't come home until the next morning (has NEVER done that before), the other two, he was home around 3 am...and then he goes to sleep on the couch instead of coming to bed (not normal either).





He left his facebook page up on the computer last night and I did a little snooping. I wouldn't have if he hadn't been acting so weird lately. I discovered that he's gotten back in contact with an old friend from high school...who just happens to be a girl. He gave her his cell number and asked if they could get together for drinks. I then checked his phone and found he's been calling her regularly. Checking the dates of the converstations on facebook, I discovered that the same weekend he asked her for drinks is the 1st saturday he went out...and didn't come home.





I'm having a hard time with this. She sounded reluctent to see him because he's married and my husband's stories seemed to check out. Granted, he usually only goes out once every 1 or 2 months. But his stories were very believable, especially since I know these guy friends so well. I'm hesitant to accuse him of anything. And even with all the ';coincidences';, I'm having a hard time beliving he would cheat on me. Our relationship (until 4 weeks ago) has been better than ever. We're even renewing our wedding vows in June.





If this was your spouse, would you be suspicious? Am I over reacting? And how do I bring up the subject without telling him I snooped on his facebook page? (Feeling very guilty about that)Husband asked another girl to go out for a couple of beers?
If this was your spouse, would you be suspicious? Yes.....and rightly so. Changes in routine and habits always arouse suspicion when no real reason seems to be apparent.





Am I over reacting? No. Evidence garnered seems to point towards an affair or the groundwork being laid for something like that. Out of curiosity, what was his excuse for not coming home or even calling?








And how do I bring up the subject without telling him I snooped on his face book page? (Feeling very guilty about that).





Never turn your hand and show your cards. You've uncovered a helpful tool that the last thing you need to do is let him know you've discovered his dallying by way of his Face book account. Say nothing about the phone either. Keep asking him what is going on. Keep copies of anything you can and finally if it comes to a head, drop them on the table in front of him and make your point stick. Don't be in such a rush to slam the lid down on this just yet.


Sure...it's suspicious but I'd keep watching and seeing what takes place. Its pretty obvious he's lousy at covering his tracks. If he's up to no good you'll know soon enough. Just sit back and watch and ask questions.Husband asked another girl to go out for a couple of beers?
Hint: Asking another woman to ';go have beers'; is called a date. You remember dating, it's a precursor to having a relationship.
you should have printed out the evidence from his facebook, as well as get a phone record for his cell.





I would use these pieces as evidence in a divorce court proceding.
Alcohol + opposite sex = sex
You got married and had your first kid at age 18? Your now 26. Most husbands that I know in their early 20's are nothing but party animals.
Ever hear that saying:





';Denial is not just a river in Egypt';?





Well, that applies here.
I would tell him we need to talka nd explain that what has been happening needs to stop, now. No excuses, no bullsh*t. And I would say that his behavior is in line with someone having an affair, so I want marriage counseling to re-build the shaken trust.





If he balks, you have your answer.
You had every reason to be suspicious....which lead to the snooping....he took another woman on a date and then didn't come home!!!!





Darn tooting I would ask him what is up....kind of convenient he left his face book open....like he wanted you to catch him?
uhgg how much more do you need. of course there's something up and probably has been for the past 4 weeks. tell him demand he tell you the thruth. you feel guilty why? you are his wife and are intitled to snoop around if you have reasons to. i hope you are ready for a battle because that's what's coming for you. i can almost assure you he's cheating already and telling his girl that he's getting a divorce soon.
It's kind of obvious that he's probably having an affair as the changes have come on sudden and coincide with what you fund on facebook.





Unfortunately, for you, it's either something you're going to have to live with or you'll have to confront him with your facts and come to an agreement that you're going to be his one and only. It's a decision that you'll have to make.





Oh the positive side, most affairs usually wear themselves out over a period of time. But once he's cheated and enjoyed it he'll quite possibly look for a replacement when it's over. With some guys it's just a way of life. Others grow out of it after a while and become straight husbands again. Again, any action is your call. Good luck.
Sorry to tell you sweetie, but I was the other woman once upon a time, and it doesn't look good for you.


This is classic. Just how it started with me. And I was reluctant too.


If he hasn't cheated already, he's giving it serious thought.
yeah if it were me and my Fiance I wouldn't let it go so easy I would do some more snooping even though it is an old friend from high school doesn't mean it couldn't have been an old girlfriend from highschool
Wow this most definatly sounds suspicious. I think there was an article before on MSN.com that was named ';9 signs your man is cheating';.


http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/a鈥?/a>








check that out and see what you think. I personally think hes cheating. good luck
Wow. It does sound like cause for concern. He may not have cheated (yet), but he sure is re-living the ol glory days and acting like a college kid. Number one-no matter how well you know his friends, they will lie for him. Number two, this behavior seems very inappropriate, even if he hasn't cheated (yet). He sounds like he's wishing for freedom; and that is how my husband ended up cheating. Fantasy life with no kids, no bills, no car repairs, no home repairs.....it was all sex and rainbows with his lover; all parties and no responsibility. You'd better jerk him back to reality and let him know what he could loose if he continues this inappropriate behavior. I hope there is still time!
If he hasn't cheated already, he's thinking about it. My instincts would lead me to think that he did cheat. If you have any doubts about his story, ask his friends, or ask at the bar he went to. Is he kissing differently, making love differently, or talking to you differently? What do his clothes smell like when he gets home? Does he spend more time getting ready to go out on those nights?


I think you know the answer, and don't want to accept it. He's cheated.





Tell him the truth, you saw his facebook, and you saw his phone records, and that you're suspicious. Talk about all of the differences you've experienced recently.


Since you're married, there shouldn't be any secrets...


I'm sorry, but he's cheating on you.
First, you need to get over your guilt for snooping on his Facebook page. Not only has he been acting suspicious lately, but he left the page UP. It's not like you hired a hacker to come in and crack open his social networking webpage. (LOL at that idea.)





Anyway, here is the thing. Even if he's NOT cheating on you, isn't his behavior poor for a husband anyway? Let me ask you this -- if you could 100% guarantee that he wasn't cheating on you, would you be happy if your marriage carried on forever with him behaving the way he has been lately? Doubt it.





So, either way you should definitely talk to him. The thing is, if I were you I'd be horribnly upset, because my husband and I don't do the whole opposite-sex friends thing. I'd be furious with him for exchanging numbers with another woman, and I know he'd feel the same if the situation were reversed.





Sit him down, and just start by saying you need to talk to him about the marriage. Let him know that you've been feeling neglected lately and you're concerned about your sex life. Ask him why he hasn't been having sex with you as frequently, and let him know that you've been feeling like he thinks it's a chore. Talk to him about that first, it's a good opener.





After that, segway into talking to him about his ';going out'; practices. Tell him that you know he is absolutely entitled to go out and you encourage that, however you don't like that he's coming home all hours of the morning. Tell him that he's married and you know you're not his mother, but that you'd like to set a respectable time to come home -- like 12:00 -- so that you know he's safe. Also, if you're in bed after he comes in you'd appreciate him coming to bed with you instead of staying on the couch.





By the way, this entire conversation should NOT be done in an accusing manner, it should be done kindly and lovingly -- hold his hand if he'll let you. It shows that your main goal is to preserve the marriage.





Then, talk to him about the Facebook. Say he left it up and you were curious so you scrolled through, and then tell him what you came across. Let him know why it concerns you.





Hopefully you won't have to hear anything you don't want to hear. Mutual respect in a marriage is very important, and your husband should be doing nothing to disrespect you.





Good luck.
Buy a voice activated recorder (you can get them for about $20-$50) and hide it in his car. That way you can hear what he is saying to her on the cell. I wouldn't approach him until you have more proof.
hes been seeing her on the side and probably slept with her. if his behavior is new and hes not willing to sleep with you, then theres a problem. you need to nip this in the bud now before it gets too far. im sorry.....this must be really tough for you. good luck