How do you deal with rumors of your spouse/gf/bf cheating?

Before I dated my bf of 4 years, we were friends. A big reason why I dated him was cuz he wasn't a cheater and I knew that from all the girls he dated in the past and the situations he were in.





A year ago there were rumors he slept with his friend this girl. And I believed him when we talked about it....but now my doubts are coming up again. I re-read my journal of what I wrote and got sad at the thought of finding out this rumor. It's like...why would someone make up a rumor? What if I'm just being stupid and naive to believe him? My gut feeling doesn't tell me he cheated but how do I know if I'm not being stupid and in denial? I just wish I knew for sure whether he cheated or not.





I brought it up again with him to see if his story would change and he would forget but didn't. He got mad at me for grilling him with these questions cuz everything with us is perfect and I'm bringing up the past that was supposed to be cased closed.How do you deal with rumors of your spouse/gf/bf cheating?
A relationship is built on trust. You need to trust your boyfriend.





People make up rumors for lots of stupid reasons. That's why they are called rumors, and not truths. Look around you: in the news this week there are tons of rumors about what happened with Tiger Woods and his wife (e.g., she hit him with a golf club, etc). There is likely to be *no* truth to most of these rumors. (The one non-rumor is that Tiger cheated: he admitted that openly.)





You have a good thing with your boyfriend. Don't let your insecurities turn into jealousy, and ruin a perfectly good relationship.





I know what I am talking about here: I was with a woman for 2 years who was very jealous, always suspecting that I was sleeping with other people, when I *never* did anything like that with anyone. It was all in her head, probably related to insecurities she got from previous bad relationship. In the end I left her, after she started looking through my stuff, calling my friends and work contacts (whose numbers she didn't recognize), trying to find dirt on me (which didn't exist). I couldn't take having a partner that didn't trust me. I found a different partner later, who I married. She is completely trusting, and so am I. We are very happy together.How do you deal with rumors of your spouse/gf/bf cheating?
Even when you love them and trust them, it is hard to forget what was said, even by others. Sometimes men know you trust them and think they can get away with cheating so they do. Other times, it is our own insecurities that make us wonder if our spouse is cheating.





And sometimes it comes down to you being the only one who doesn't think he is
Sometimes people really do just make stuff up...It's sad but it's true. If your bf wasn't doing anything suspicious and isn't giving you cause to worry now then let it drop. Apologize for bringing it back up and this time really don't bring it up again.
Hopefully you are secure enough in your relationship to know what is going on and when you don't, you may want to look at the source. Do they have reason to do harm to you?
You said ';your gut feeling doesn't tell u that he's cheating'' Then I say Go with your your Gut feeling especially if he hasn't done anything to cause you to be doubtful. If you remain doubtful without valid reasons, eventually You may push him away.





Good Luck
Why would someone make up a rumor? Have you never watched a soap opera, or just about any drama? Did you skip high school? People start untrue rumors all the time for lots and lots of reasons.





Example. A bit a ago, I was spending 'a lot' of time with my wife's best friend. Rumor said we were having an affair, of course, as that is juicy and exciting. Though what we were actually doing is planning my wife's surprise birthday party. Perfectly normal for a husband and best friend to plan a birthday party, but still the rumors fly. And it's not like the rumor people could not figure it out, they have calenders, know when my wife's birthday is, and got that subtitle clue of a surprise party invitation. Now if my wife has fell for those rumors...where would we be today.
I don't blame you for bringing it up again. If the rumor is bothering you still he should discuss it with you. It is not right to say don't bring up the past. He should listen to you talk about it. And then you have to make up your mind to forget it or how to deal with it. I have been there before except it was my wife cheating and it was true she told me. But really if you are just dating even for 4 years and you have second thoughts about him cheating leave him now. I been married 17 years and was in the same boat when we were just dating. I felt like you. And now I find out I should have trusted my gut feeling 17 years ago.